


never skype with the captains

by sylvenon



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Divergence, Canon Universe, Gen, Memes, Phone Calls & Telephones, Skype
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 11:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11690568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sylvenon/pseuds/sylvenon
Summary: morikawa: first off, how the hell did you get my skype?OWL NOISES: i swiped it from your sistermorikawa: fuck.





	1. kaomoji galore

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [national hot dad alliance is now calling...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663683) by [dicaeopolis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dicaeopolis/pseuds/dicaeopolis), [owlinaminor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlinaminor/pseuds/owlinaminor). 



_morikawa has joined the group chat, CAPTAINS_

 

 **morikawa:** how the fuck did you get my skype?

 **OWL NOISES:** swiped it from your sister 

 **morikawa:** fuuuuuuuuuck. 

 **morikawa:** what do you guys want? 

 **cool cat** : well, clearly, u r a captain, so why would you not be in the skype chat for it?

 **morikawa** : b/c i prefer face to face chats. 

 **OWL NOISES** : USHIWAKAS HERE

 **morikawa** : i know. i have his skype. 

 **sawamura** : I see they have caught you as well. 

 **morikawa** : AYYYYYY, Daichi, long time no talk! gotta get your number, 'kay? 

 **sawamura** : Sounds good.  

 

_perfsetter has joined the group chat, CAPTAINS_

 

 **perfsetter** : who's morikawa? 

 **OWL NOISES** : U REMEMBER RIKA, RIGHT? THE SHORT CAPTAIN FROM TRAINING CAMP. 

 **perfsetter** : oh! yeah! 

 **morikawa** : ...

 **morikawa** : and you are? 

 **perfsetter** : ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ 

 **perfsetter** : HOW DO U NOT KNOW ME

 **morikawa** : ... 

 **morikawa** : because i don't normally socialize outside of my team? 

 **perfsetter** : THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW THIGHCHI?! 

 **morikawa** : ... 

 **morikawa** : Daichi?? 

 **morikawa** : i liked his first year, Shouyou. taught him a few things. he's my protege. 

 **OWL NOISES** : NO HES MINE, BACK OFF RIKA 

 **morikawa** : OVER MY DEAD BODY, BIRD BRAIN 

sawamura: Um? He's actually at Karasuno? So he's mine? 

 **morikawa** : Σ(O_O). I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS, DAICHI. 

 **sawamura** : Not enough that I hand over my kouhai. 

 

 _morikawa sent a picture_  

 

 **morikawa** : the others say hi. they are also wondering when they'll see you guys again. 

 **perfsetter** : ...

 **perfsetter** : you take really good pictures. 

 **morikawa** : thanks.

 **morikawa** : ALSO FIGURED OUT WHO U R.

 **morikawa** : Oikawa Tooru, right? 

 **perfsetter** : \\(^ヮ^)/ 

 **morikawa** : taking that as a yes. 

 **OWL NOISES** : RIIIIIIKA

 **morikawa** : yeah? 

 **OWL NOISES** : COME PRACTICE WITH US

 **morikawa** : i would but...so far away 

 **OWL NOISES** : o(>< )o 

 **morikawa** : i can't under stand you if you don't use words. 

 **perfsetter** : you are almost there with perfect grammar

 **morikawa** : you can shove your perfect grammar up your ass. 

 **perfsetter** : (凸ಠ益ಠ)凸 

 **morikawa** : hey, looks like you. 

 

_ushiwaka has joined the group chat, CAPTAINS_

 

 **morikawa** : hey Wakatoshi!

 **ushiwaka** : Hello. 

 **ushiwaka** : I see you are enjoying yourself in antagonizing Oikawa. 

 **morikawa** : just doing my duty. 

 **sawamura** : -_- 

 **sawamura** : You guys are always welcome to come up to Miyagi. 

 **morikawa** : but...so far away. 

 **sawamura** : (￢_￢) 

 **morikawa** : has anybody ever told you u look like a dad? 

 **morikawa** : DADCHI!

 **OWL NOISES** : DADCHI! 

 **cool cat** : DADCHI!! 

 **perfsetter** : look whos talking MOMKAWA. 

 **morikawa** : ... 

 **morikawa** : that can literally apply to you as well. 

 **perfsetter** : ... 

 **perfsetter** : fuck.


	2. of food and volleyball

_perfsetter's name has been changed to MOMKAWA_

 

 **MOMKAWA** : STOP BEING SO MEAN!! (・`ω´・)

 **morikawa** : u did this 2 yourself. 

 **sawamura** : It suits you. 

 **morikawa** : OH

 

sawamura's names has been changed to DADCHI 

 

 **DADCHI** : I thought we were friends! 

 **morikawa** : all is fair in love and war. 

 **DADCHI** : What? 

 **morikawa** : it's a super cool English quote, it's in, like a million movies. 

 **DADCHI** : Ugh. 

 **OWL NOISES** : YOUR TURN, RIKA. 

 

_morikawa's name has been changed to SISKA_

 

 **OWL NOISES** : CAUSE' YOU'RE LIKE THE AWESOME OLDER SISTER. 

 **SISKA** : i've been offended. 

 **DADCHI** : Hah! 

 **MOMKAWA** : IN YOUR FACE! ٩(◕‿◕)۶ 

 **SISKA** : oooooooooooh, Koutaro, you are in for it. 

 

_OWL NOISES' name has been changed to BROTARO_

 

 **BROTARO** : COOL!! 

 **SISKA** : just wait for Tetsuro's 

 

_cool cat's name has been changed to UNCSURO_

 

 **UNCSURO** : (o_O) ! 

 **UNCSURO** : WHAT HAVE I DONE?! 

 **SISKA** : you are merely collateral damage.

 

_ushiwaka's name has been changed to COUSJIMA_

 

 **COUSJIMA** : I will rather not have this name, but I will play along.

 **SISKA** : one big, slightly irritated family.

 **MOMKAWA** : RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **SISKA** : gotta run. 

 **BROTARO** : BYEEEEEEEEE 

 **UNCSURO** : DON'T COME BACK

 **MOMKAWA** : i hate everybody atm 

 **DADCHI** : I cannot believe I am friends with such a fiend. 

 **COUSJIMA** : Rika-chan has some questionable humor, but overall she is a very good friend. I witnessed her judo flipping a man because he 'coped a feel' on Wakana. 

 **MOMKAWA** : ...

 **MOMKAWA** : i guess she's alright. 

 

_CAPTAINS is calling_

 

Morikawa's face popped up on the screen, before she moved back. "Nice to know that Daichi is not in fact 70 years old." She said, while spinning in her chair, in a lazy circle. 

"Why'd you call?" Oikawa asked, sneering. She smiled, before pulling out a bag of...pecans. 

"I found these in a store down in Tokyo. From America." She explained and grinned before pulling them open. They all stared at her, before Sawamura shifted his gaze. 

"That's a lot of trophies. They all volleyball?" She turned before shaking her head. 

"Gymnastics, softball and basketball. All from when I was younger." She said, before stuffing a fistful of pecans into her mouth. 

"Ew." Oikawa pulled a face. 

"Pecans help with a healthy brain. You can tell by the way they're shaped." She held one up to the camera. "Looks like brain." She mumbled, before eating it. "So." She leaned back. "Anybody recruited for university yet?" She asked, while eating some more pecans. 

"I've been recruited for Chou University." Ushijima stated. She nodded. 

"I'm going to Tokai!" Bokuto offered. 

"You?" Sawamura said. She leaned back, tilting her head back as far as it would go. She mumbled something. "Huh?" She looked back. 

"New York." Everything went still. 

"YOU WERE ACCEPTED FOR COLLEGE IN AMERICA?" Oikawa exploded. She nodded. 

"It was after my last game, in the Nationals. I accepted. I fly out two weeks after graduation." 

"Holy crap." Sawamura mumbled. Morikawa shrugged. She ate a few more pecans before something white hit her head. She barely moved as she picked it up. 

"What Hana?" Someone said something over on her end, but not loud enough to hear through the microphone. "No. Shouyou is not here." Another string of words. "Sure." Morikawa turned back. "Sorry. Younger sister." She tossed the white thing, they had figured out it was a pillow. They all nodded. 

"So-Ushijima?" Kuroo leaned in. He was passed out in his chair, head back, snoring. 

"It is almost midnight." 

"Holy crow." Oikawa said. 

"I gotta go to sleep. Exams in the morning." Morikawa said. 

"Night!" Bokuto said and she shut the laptop. 

"Night, bro." 

"Night." Kuroo shut his laptop, quickly followed by Bokuto. 

"Good night, Oikawa." 

"Night." They turned their computers off. Ushijima was left, snoring away on the screen.


End file.
